Select Your Destination
 

< Feature Stories >

The American Cancer Society's Relay for Life

The Eaton Calendar - July 15

Community gathers to celebrate hometown heroes

The cooking keeping campers content at Hills Creek!

Fun & games for all ages!

Developing your emotional IQ and improving your relationships

GIA Graduate Gemologist Bethany Hawn opens store in Wellsboro

Interviews with Mayor Nickerson on Small Town, Big Heart

Paramedic Gregg Martuccio encourages summertime safety!

 
 
 

Dr. Mayo – The Keys to Communicate

Improve your relationships with better communication

 

by Dr Nicolle Mayo - February 2, 2018

Communication is a necessity. It’s how we connect with others, share information, learn, educate, show affection. The majority of our communication is nonverbal, but this does not minimize the significance of verbal communication. When we talk with others, what we say, how we say it, and even how we listen, are integral to connecting with others. Thus, we need to be intentional about doing it well.

Sometimes when we communicate, we forget that we actually need to put effort into listening to the other person. Many of us can get caught up in trying to think of the next thing we want to say, instead of really listening to the content, or underlying message of others. Sometimes this is our way of relating, other times it’s because we are uncomfortable with silent space, we aren’t interested in the conversation, or other things distract us. To be fully engaged, we need to set aside distractions (like our phones), and provide some sort of feedback. This feedback can be in the form of a reflection like, “Wow, sounds like you really had an awful day,” or “You worked really hard this week.” These statements can often be really validating. Now, don’t reflect everything a person says. Pick the important highlights of their message. This helps a lot with communicating more effectively, and lets the person know that you are trying to understand them. If you cannot separate other distractions during the time another person is trying to communicate with you, tell them. You can save a lot of time and repeating with your honesty.

Honesty is another important asset of communication. Sometimes we forego honesty because we fear rejection, hurt, or conflict. Honesty can be respectful, kind, and nurturing. If it is communicated in a caring manner, starting with a kind appreciation, you will have better results and a deeper conversation with the person. It takes risk. Relationships require risk, and risk can be used to grow relationships. That should be your aim.

Be specific. When talking to a person, ask them specific questions if you want specific answers. Sometimes we take for granted the typical phrase, “how are you?” especially when we respond with the automatic default answer, “good”. This tells us nothing in the relationship, except that maybe we don’t feel like thinking about how we really are, or have not had a real chance to process this before being asked. Dive into the specifics of someone’s day by asking about situations, events, circumstances that happened. Open-ended questions are a great way to gather more information, too.

Lastly, using the term “we” can be a great way to offset any perceived blame, or defensiveness in relationships. Many of us get stuck in the “me” or “you” mentality, which inadvertently implies selfishness, or blame. “We”, on the other hand, conveys unity, teamwork, partnership, and mutual responsibility. This is great terminology to use in deeper friendships or relationships, but could also be applied to some other work, or team related activities. You may get some interesting looks at first, but if you continue to use this, you may find that other people do, too.

There are plenty of other communication strategies to practice, but some of these basic ones operate as important cornerstones for the rest. Start small, and when you overcome some of the nuances in your communication, like not really listening, asking vague questions, or avoiding honesty, you might be surprised how much your communication strategies positively improve. It only takes one small step to start.

Credits:

Idea/Concept: Dr Nicolle Mayo

Videography: Kaitlyn Callahan

Video Editing: Kaitlyn Callahan

Writing: Dr Nicolle Mayo

Anchor: Dr Nicolle Mayo

 

Produced by Vogt Media

Funded by UPMC Susquehanna

< Current Stories >

 

See More Current Stories

 

The American Cancer Society's Relay for Life

July 18, 2019

 

Your Bank For a Lifetime updates appearance

July 17, 2019

 

Excerpts from the Eaton Calendar - Update

July 16, 2019

 

Accidents can happen in an instant - be safe this summer.

July 16, 2019

 

Community gathers to celebrate hometown heroes

July 15, 2019

 

A week of Home Page Network feature highlights!

July 13, 2019

 

The cooking keeping campers content at Hills Creek!

July 12, 2019

 

Fun & games for all ages!

July 11, 2019

 

Developing your emotional IQ and improving your relationships

July 10, 2019

 

GIA Graduate Gemologist Bethany Hawn opens store in Wellsboro

July 9, 2019

 

Interviews with Mayor Nickerson on Small Town, Big Heart

July 8, 2019

 

A week of Home Page Network feature highlights!

July 6, 2019

 

Paramedic Gregg Martuccio encourages summertime safety!

July 5, 2019

 

Cap your Independence Day week with red, white, and blue!

July 4, 2019

 

Stay safe this holiday season and enjoy Independence Day!

July 3, 2019

 

Earn Bonus Bucks with these Independence Day sales!

July 2, 2019

 

South scores 2nd straight D4 All-Star Game win, 19-7

July 1, 2019

 

A week of Home Page Network feature highlights!

June 29, 2019

 

Enjoy the summer safely, today on Movin' Together!

June 28, 2019

 

Set off on a strong start in your homebuying journey

June 27, 2019

 

A handful of summer fun and activities around Tioga County

June 26, 2019

 

Take a trip back in time to Draper's Super Bees!

June 24, 2019

 

Drew Seeling helps students discover their passion

June 24, 2019

 

A week of Home Page Network feature highlights!

June 22, 2019

 

The Main Street Creamery opens in Wellsboro

June 21, 2019

 

Back to Basics: the importance of interdependence

June 20, 2019

 

Ken Serfass brings history to life!

June 19, 2019

 

Meet this year's Laurel Queen and her court!

June 18, 2019

 

Highlights from the juried arts & craft fair and parade!

June 17, 2019

 

A week of Home Page Network feature highlights!

June 15, 2019

 
 

Load More Stories